


and he will make the face of heaven so fine (that all the world will be in love with the night)

by wclfstcr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Comfort/Angst, Crushes, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sirius is Gay, Soft Feels, also slight angst, being in love with your best mate, confessing crushes, gay vibes man gay vibes, lots of gay tension, remus is bisexual, remus kissed sirius and he freaks out lol, shy boys in love uwu, sitting under the stars and talking about being in love, sixth year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 20:24:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18698536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wclfstcr/pseuds/wclfstcr
Summary: "don't even know if he's single, you just had to fucking kiss him. stupid fucking hormones. stupid fucking feelings.stupid fucking sirius.""that quite hurt," a voice behind him called, making him jump.fuck.orthe one where remus kisses sirius on an impulse and bolts





	and he will make the face of heaven so fine (that all the world will be in love with the night)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from romeo and juliet by shakespeare (act iii, scene ii) i personally find this line beautiful ;; here's all of it
> 
> give me my romeo. and when i shall die
> 
> take him and cut him out in little stars
> 
> and he will make the face of heaven so fine
> 
> that all the world will be in love with the night
> 
> and pay no worship to the garish sun.

you know when it's raining and you're driving with your favorite people and you're listening to that one song on repeat and everything is calm and the sunset is beautiful and you and your friends are laughing at something one of them has said and you are so happy and it's the best thing in the world and you love your friends so much and you're happy, calm, carefree.

yeah, now think of the _complete opposite_ of that. _that_ was what remus was going through.

it was sheer panic. blind, hot, white panic coursing through his veins and he couldn't breathe. was it an another panic attack? or was he just claustrophobic? he couldn't figure it out, but all his brain could manage to think was that he had to _**run**_ and get as far from the gryffindor common roon as he can and not stop at all. run, run, run and ignore the echoes of his heavy steps, take a turn in the hidden corridor, crawl through the secret passageway - just don't fucking stop or he'll catch you and it'll be over, it'll all be over.,

 _whywhywhy_ , he chided himself. _stupidstupidstupidstupid_.

"you fucking bloody shitting _berk_. fucking had to kiss him, didn't you? fucking hell, lupin, couldn't keep it in your pants, could you? shitting buggering fuck." he mumbled to himself as he found himself in the astronomy tower. he sat in front of the parapet of the tower, bringing his knees up to rest his chin, looking at the star strewn sky.

it wasn't that him being bisexual was news - it wasn't. he had come out to the marauders and other close friends as bisexual in fifth year and they all had been supportive and not only a year later, just a few months ago, in fact, sirius had come out as gay and even though remus knew it had absolutely fucking nothing to do with him, a small part of him liked to believe that maybe sirius returned the feelings he had for him, but really, that was just wishful thinking.

so, yes, it wasn't that. it was the fact that remus didn't know how function around sirius. his crush, his unbearingly huge fucking crush on sirius was almost practically humorous at this point because his brain would shut down and he would do the most stupidest shit around him and it was _so_ embarrassing and sirius would have that smirk on his face, as if he _knew_ -

-

the full moon had been hard. harder than usual. and remus couldn't cope. it was killing him, this thing inside him was killing him. he never asked for this. he was sure he had never done anything in his previous life - as peter was adamant on believing - to deserve this. he had tried so hard to find greyback, but years of research had come to a waste, a dead end and it was too much and it hurt like fucking hell and remus broke down crying, sobbing, in front of sirius who had just walked in the dorm asking for a game of exploding snaps.

"hey, hey, hey," sirius rushed over to remus, who sat hunched on his bed. he climbed under the covers and wrapped his arms around him, rocking him back and forth. "it's okay, it's okay. c'mon now, moony, cry it all out. 'm here for you, we all are."

after what seemed like minutes, or maybe hours, remus had calmed down enough for his tears to stop. he closed his eyes and revelled in the feeling of sirius running his fingers through his hair, whispering soothing things in his ear, holding him, comforting him, making him feel safe and loved and his heart ached for this boy.

"wanna talk about it?" sirius' soft, low voice broke him out of his reverie.

"it's just hard, pads. i can't - i don't want to live like this anymore. it's fucking agony. i just want to fucking give up. i can't live as a monster my whole life."

sirius face hardened and his grip on remus' shoulders were strong enough to hurt, forcing brown to meet grey. "you are _not_ a monster. you fold your socks, for merlin's sake. monsters don't do that."

"you're forgetting i turn into a _literal_ raging beast once a month -"

sirius cut him off before he could continue, "but you've never killed anyone, have you? you haven't intentionally hurt anyone, have you? monsters make sure to hurt and kill anyone who comes near them, but you don't because you aren't one. you are one of the most best things in the world and you deserve so fucking much and whatever shit you go through fucking sucks and you don't deserve that and i can't even _begin_ to imagine what you go through every single day, but you are not a monster. never are, never will be. and i, for sure as fuck, am not letting you give up. you have us, moony; you have _me_ and i'll be there with you every second passing because i - _we_ \- care about you, _godfuckingdamnit_. how many times do we have to tell you -?"

sirius could never finish that sentence for remus had flung himself on top of him, crushing his lips against him and not even a second later, he pulled back as if the boy burned him.

"fuck. i'm sorry -"

"remus -"

"no, i - fuck." and he clambered out of his bed, running as fast as his feet could carry him, desperately ignoring sirius calling him back.

-

"don't even know if he's single, you just had to fucking kiss him. stupid fucking hormones. stupid fucking feelings. _stupid fucking sirius_."

"that quite hurt," a voice behind him called, making him jump.

fuck.

sirius walked out of the shadows and sat down next to him, mimicking his position. "whatchya thinkin' about, moons? and most importantly, why'd you take off like that? one would think i'm a horrid kisser."

"just... just get on with it, yeah?"

"get on with what?"

"if you wanna stop being friends or whatever or i don't fucking know, but just get on with it."

there was a pregnant pause. "you know for a swot you're really fucking dumb."

remus stared, "excuse me?"

"yeah, you bloody berk. couldn't wait for another second so i could properly kiss you back, you just had to bolt, didn't you?"

he looked down, playing with the sleeves of his jumper. "don't, uh, don't joke about that, please, it isn't funny."

"what? _no_ ," sirius ran a hand through his hair, a nervous tick he learned from james. "merlin, no."

remus sighed. there was a pounding in his head and his legs ached from all the running and sirius wasn't really making any of this easier for either of the two. "just... just leave me alone, pads. i understand if it makes you weird. but honestly it's just a stupid crush, i'll get over it soon enough. you don't have to be friends with me while i do, you know -"

this time, it was remus who was unable to complete his sentence for there was a pair of soft lips pressed against his, cold hands cupping his numbing cheeks, and sirius, he realised, was kissing him.

_sirius was kissing him._

he startled and pulled back a fraction, not quite moving away his lips. "sirius," he said with a tremor in his voice, "what are you doing?"

"kissing you." and to prove said point, he placed a chaste kiss on remus' lips.

holding back a sigh, mumbled against sirius mouth, "but, er, why?"

"because i want to."

"no, you don't. you're trying to make me feel better."

"not the most romantic thing to say to a bloke who wants to snog the living daylights out of you, moony." when remus didn't - _couldn't_ \- respond, he sighed, running yet another hand through his hair, and slid his hands to hold remus by the neck. "i want to kiss you because i've got a stupid crush on you, too, and prongs and wormtail have been at my arse for confessing. i was about to confess tonight with all the other things i said about you in my, uh, my speech. but then you kissed me."

"but then i kissed you," repeated remus, lamely.

"yeah," and his smile was _so lovely_ , the stars in his eyes were shining brighter than the night sky, the waxing moon making him glow, illuminated and remus was hurting with love. "yeah, you kissed me. and then, right now, i kissed you back. because you have a stupid crush on me. and i have a stupid crush on you."

"you -" remus faltered, biting his lip to hide the smile that threatened to crack the surface of his porcelain façade. "really?"

sirius nodded, smiling shyly while taking both of remus' hands in his. "remus," he said (but not quite).

"sirius," he replied, hushed and low.

"remus," he repeated, like a prayer. "remus, may i, please, kiss you?"

and he sighed, love and hope filling him to the brink. "yes, please."

**Author's Note:**

> ahHhh!!!! mayb i can write a part 2 showcasing the early stages of their relationship after this?? if u guys want, let me know whoooo & i don't think it's wise of me to write wolfstar short fics when i have my gcses ahh dhdjjs anyways im in love with my gay boys
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!! :,) leave some feedback, loves <3


End file.
